Welcoming Rusty / Michael back into the fold

In March of 2013 something nothing short of amazing happened.  Our family had a miracle.

It began with a simple email.  A private detective from Scottsdale, AZ had found this blog, and on it was listed the name of a person she had been looking for.   That person was one of my cousins who is now deceased. The detective had been hired to find the woman, but had no luck with standard investigation techniques.  What she did not know was that my cousin had died in 1983.  That's why she was not showing up in any database.  When the investigator ran out of all other options, she tried one more Google search to see if anything at all with my cousin's name might turn up.  It did.  It was this blog.

Here is the back story to that search.  A little over forty years ago,  my cousin's life was in turmoil.  She had a little boy that she had given birth to "out of wedlock", something that had very different implications in the early '70's than it does today. Initially my cousin had been determined to raise her boy on her own.  However, as challenges piled up, she came to realize that she could not give her child the life she wanted for him.   So, after a lot of agonizing over what the best path would be, she decided to give him up for adoption so that he could have a stable, loving family.

My cousin's son, Rusty, was not given up as an infant.  He was a bright, active toddler when we was sent to a new home.  I have very strong memories of playing with Rusty when we were children.  He was an  an adorable dark eyed little boy with a musical laugh.

All of the girl cousins loved playing with baby Rusty.  We adored him.

Then one day, he was just gone.

Although much too young to understand all the reasons why his mother opted to give him up for adoption, I had always known that Tammy had problems.  When she died some years later it was very sad, but not that big of a surprise.

Through all the years that followed none of us ever forgot that darling little boy who had come into our lives for a short time and then disappeared.  We often would wonder what had happened to him.  At family gatherings sometimes his name would come up.  He was never forgotten.  We would hope that where ever he might be in the world that he was doing well and pray that he landed with a loving family that would treat him well.

Unbeknown to any of us, when Rusty (now known as Michael) grew up, he would begin searching for his biological family.   He had a wonderful mother who had raised him well.  He had grandparents and other family who did all they could to give him a secure, stable family.   Still, like many adopted children, Rusty / Michael always wondered who his first mother had been and where he came from.  He wondered why he had been given away.  He wondered if he had been forgotten.

After looking as much as he could on his own,  Rusty/Michael hired that private detective in Arizona so see if she might be able to turn something up.  They were just about to give up the search when they found this blog.   So the detective sent me an email asking if I could put her client in contact with my cousin.

I called the detective and did some checking to be sure she was who she said she was.  Then I explained my cousin had died years ago, but there were many family members who would very much want to reconnect with Rusty/Michael.   So she passed on my email to him, and on March 13, 2013,  I received his first message which said:

Lynda,

Hello, you have heard about me but we have never met. My name is Michael, you may remember me as Rusty. I hired Sarah to help me look into my biological family and you are here. I would love to talk more if you feel so inclined, I currently live in ______ but my number is ______. Please call me when you have a moment.

Michael C_____.

I will never forget our first tentative conversation on the telephone.   After so much searching and so many failed attempts, Rusty/Michael was not quite ready to believe that he had indeed found the right family.   I told him what I remembered about him as a little boy and about his family.   And then I emailed him a photo I had from when he was about two.

As soon as he saw that picture of himself as a little boy, he KNEW.  (For one reason this little boy was clearly the same kid as the one in a photo his new mom had taken with him at the time of his adoption.  Secondly, this little boy bore an uncanny resemblance to his youngest son.)  He knew he had found his family.  We had found the boy we loved and lost.

Over the next few months emails and Facebook contacts were flying with fury as first one family member and then another reached out to him.  Cell phones were buzzing.   The reunion was in the works.

Words cannot even come close to describing the blessing it has been to have this very special guy back in the fold of our family.  It has been wonderful to share more messages and phone calls to learn of his life, and to get acquainted with the man he has become.   Then, as icing on the cake, this past October our family gathered for a very special reunion in Oak Creek, AZ at the old homestead of our grandparents - Frank & Jane Pendley - to whom this blog is dedicated.  There we got to meet Rusty/Michael in person, along with his lovely wife and children.  We also got to visit with his mom, who came to share him with us.

                                 (Rusty / Michael is on the far left with his family).  

What once was lost has now been found.  Rusty / Michael has come home.  The bond that is family is connecting us again.   

One interesting quirk is that I made a mistake on the spelling on one of the names on the blog.   I'm generally VERY careful with my family records and make it a practice to check and double check before I publish information.  However, on one certain name I transposed two letters in the last name.  That error just happened to be the exact same mistake in the name that private detective had.  IF I had everything perfect, we might never have found each other.

So let this be a word of caution to all dedicated genealogists.  YES, we should take care to avoid errors in recording our family information.  I absolutely support the process of checking and double checking for accuracy.   But don't beat yourself up too much if the occasional mistake may somehow creep in.   You never know when the angels above will use that very mistake to help unfold a miracle.

I believe with all my heart that we are not alone in our efforts to find our kin , both living and dead.  I believe that connecting the records of our family matters.

Welcome home, Rusty/Michael.  We loved you then.  We love you now.  We welcome you and all of your family, into our clan.

I am so grateful for the Spirit of Elijah that prompted me to post this blog.  I feel tremendously blessed to have been a part of this unfolding miracle.